Bastille is a chart-topping, Grammy-nominated band, but if you ask Dan Smith he'll say he's "always been expecting it to fall apart at any moment."
During a vulnerable interview with The Guardian, the singer opened up about anxiety and body dysmorphia, confessing that he has a âvery low opinionâ of himself.
âI canât really explain it,â Smith admitted. âI think thereâs dissonance in my head between what weâve achieved and how Iâm perceived, and the reality in my head.â
That juxtaposition is nothing new for the singer-songwriter. While he's always been fascinated with writing and recording music, âthe idea of standing up in front of people and doing anything, let alone playing music, was so far from anything I could imagine wanting to do,â he explained. Part of that stemmed from being heavier set in his youth before a virus he contracted in Thailand resulted in a loss of appetite, and therefore, a loss of weight.
âItâs a bizarre line of work in which you are constantly confronted by your own image,â he said. âItâs not fun â and it doesnât feel particularly healthy.
"I think a lot of people suffer from different versions of body dysmorphia,â Smith added. âWe all have the version of ourselves that we see in our own heads and often thatâs so different from the version of who we are through other peopleâs eyes.â
He's learned to cope with playing live shows, but that doesn't mean it's easy. Smith still suffers from stage fright, which he calls âessentially a form of a panic attack."
âFor someone who has body image issues, itâs complicated getting up on stage every night in front of lots of people, when your instinct is to hide away,â he said. âSometimes itâs not a problem, sometimes it is.â